Missing you
As I always do
I can't remember your touch
Soft blades, curled between my fingers
Moist, early morning
Or saturated from the
Night's rain
Releasing the deep smell of earth
Single raindrops in a line
Arching your spine
Bending you forwards
Bowing you
As you wait, wait
In quiet anticipation
And longing
Should the sun come out
That moment
That day
That dawn
Other times, blades burnt to their tips
Reddened-gold
Copper
Soil crumbly
Cracked
Gasping beneath

Missing you
As I always do
I can't remember your sound
Expansive
Soothing
Always soothing
To the bone
To the core
To the sharpest of wounds
Taking it
Taking it all
In a moment or two;
Leaving you
Empty
Equanimous
Whole
The sound of pebble and sand
Damp beneath
The sound of cliff top and view
Of rock and cave
The sound of temperament
Of mood
Unpredictable, thrashing
Of charcoal-black at night
Or of turquoise, coral
Still beneath
The sound of our very breath
Cool, unhindered
And of the deep source of life itself
Life itself
Life itself
On this blue
Blue planet of ours
   
Missing you
As I always do
I can't remember your feel
Rough-edged
Textured
Brittle
Time-weary
Shapes within shapes
Circles within circles
Each crack a line
Each crevice a sentence
Each one a story;
Braille beneath my fingertips
Dry
Flaky sometimes
Falling away into my hands
Wet from the rain
And shiny
Or smooth;
The maple gliding up to its heights
Bamboo,
Silken, creamy

The giant oak
Intricate
Craggy in its form
Always knowing
Ancient
Hollowed sometimes
Or a stump
Where a branch has been lost
And nature has healed herself;
Survivors of time
Survivors of everything
Great witnesses of life
Leaning up against you as I write
Leaning up against you as I cry
Reassuring, kindly
Roots digging into my thighs
Or sleeping besides;
Protective, unyielding
Always safe

Grieving you
As I always will
I can't remember nature
The eternal love
Dramatic, resilient
Ever-changing    
The only one that hears it
That sees, knows
Replenishing, powerful, truthful
The only one that never leaves
That doesn’t bite back
That doesn’t reveal a deeper madness
The only one that satisfies
Lost now
Lost
Behind too many covers
And too many layers
Too many screens
And too many barriers
Too many losses
And too many struggles
And too many walls
Too many walls
Too many walls away

 

Too many walls away